Julius OkorieMarriage has been defined as a union between a man and woman. It is also known as matrimony or wedlock. Although there is no unified definition for this vocation, as many have in recent times tended to define it from whatever perspective that suits them, including adding that it is a “union between two or more.”
Marriage from the perspective of religion is defined as a lifelong union between a man and a woman. It was ordained by God and meant to last “until death do the couple involved part.”
Join our WhatsApp ChannelThough there are other reasons for marriage according to individual desires, its original intention is for procreation and building a family. It is a vocation ordained by God and as recorded in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Marriage is not a union of strangers who are either incompatible or can’t agree which explains why Proverbs 18:22: States, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.”
God approved marriage and considers it very important. To further give credence to the importance of marriage, the account of wedding in Cana as recorded in John 2: 1-11 where Jesus chose to perform his first miracle of turning water into wine.
This symbolic act underscores the importance of marriage and its relevance to Gods desire for man on earth.
Duration Of Marriage:
Marriage by definition and intention of God who is the originator of this vocation, is intended to last forever and that is why at every wedding you hear the now popular last line “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” The only thing allowed or envisaged that can put marriage asunder such union is death.
Condition For Marriage:
Marriage is not meant for kids, incapable of making decisions, or of giving consent. Thus conditions for marriage include that:
*Both parties must consent to the union.
* Must have come of age as to be responsible for his or her actions.
*Must be mentally stable.
*It may also be important to say both must love each other or better put be on the same page.
As the book of Amos 3:3 captures it, “Two cannot walk together unless they agree” is a proverb derived from the Bible, specifically Amos 3:3, which means that for two people to successfully move forward together, they need to be in agreement about their goals and direction; without shared understanding, they will likely diverge and not achieve their desired outcome.
Between Marriage And Wedding:
Wedding is an offshoot of marriage. While marriage is the legal and spiritual union of man and wife, wedding is the ceremony or celebration of those who have accepted to marry and have fulfilled the process of formalising marriage act. Like aptly captured in some quarters, wedding is the ceremony but marriage is the journey. The journey of marriage begins after everyone else has left the wedding. Marriage is the long haul and the wedding, few hours of celebration.
Nature of Celebrity Marriages:
Celebrity marriages refer to marriage between two popular personalities or societal big wigs. One of the characteristics of celebrity marriages is expensive weddings with lavish meals and choice wines. It would hold anywhere from eye popping state of the art venues, to middle of the ocean arena and even aboard jumbo jets, often attended by creme dela creme of the Society.
Why Celebrity Marriages Crumble:
The crash of celebrity marriages in Nigeria has become over the years a recurring decimal. When this ugly virus rears its head, the razzmatazz during the solemnisation of the union is quickly forgotten.
In fact, it often brings to the fore, that all that glitters is not gold and that all the smiles for the camera may actually be a make believe.
Latest in the legion of celebrity marriages that has hit the rocks is that of legendary music icon, Tuface Idibia and his estranged wife, Annie Macaulay-Idibia.
The question then will be why are celebrity marriages unable to survive the ‘heat from the kitchen’? Here are major reasons why Celebrity marriages crash:
Fame Effect:
By virtue of being famous, most celebrities tend to possess larger than life posture. This puts them in a class of their own; hence they must shop, eat and go to exclusive places often more expensive but in tandem with their ‘social status’
Infidelity:
This is one of the difficult aspects of marriage. Cheating in marriage is frowned at not only by scripture and religious circles; the society also sees it as abnormal.
However because celebrities need a lot of money to maintain their status, they are often caught in the web in an effort to meet up with financial demand of their status. Aside from infidelity, some celebrities have also been forced by the challenges of meeting up to release sex videos and participate in X-rated videos with a view to making more money and getting more followership on social media.
Not only that fame could come with sexual pervasiveness, the job exposes them to meeting so many people and possibility of infatuations, which fires infidelity cannot be ruled out.
Aside from that some fans openly throw themselves at celebrities, making sexual advances and creating ‘occasions of sin’ inevitable.
Arrogance And Self-importance:
Marriage demands humility and also comes with injunction for men to love their wives and wives submit to their husbands. Fame and wealth, in most cases elicits arrogance and feeling of self-importance. This could lead to disrespect for one spouse and sometimes leads to divorce.
Social Media And Fans ‘Influence:
Because they are constantly in the eye of the public especially with the coming of social media, celebrity marriages are constantly under scrutiny. The fans constantly compare and contrast the celebrities in terms of what they have and have acquired. The places they go for vacation, the cars they ride, the class the fly during foreign and local trips, and even the meals they eat. The clothes, shoes and bangles they wear, names of manufacturers of such fabrics cost of such wears all come into play as if there is gold medal to be won for wearing the most expensive outfit.
This constantly puts celebrities who lack self-control and who lack the thickness of fiber to resist such comparison under intense pressure. The resultant effect is a feeling of inadequacy and frustration, a little spark could lead into transferred aggression to the spouse.
Family And Peer Pressure:
Because celebrity comes with a lot of glamour, family members and friends of celebrities, believe they are stupendously rich and could afford anything any time. They thus make unending financial demands. Unfortunately many of the celebrities lack the courage to say no, and the courage to admit that they cannot afford certain things.
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They will rather pretend, borrow to meet up or simply live fake lives just to be seen to be meeting up. Some may not be courageous enough to admit that some of the flashy cars used in movies are borrowed for the occasion or that some of the luxury apartments featured don’t really belong to them, thus creating wrong impression in the minds of many who assess them with such make-believe status.
Influence Of Drugs:
Celebrities are normal people who experience normal fears of failure, of meeting up and even fear of facing certain challenges. They require courage which equally fails them at times like every other human being. To constantly stay above fear and appear to be in control, many take to drugs.
Unfortunately like the Dutch courage, it fades once the effect goes away. To maintain the flow addiction becomes the way to go. Some may be taking the drugs in hiding without the knowledge of the spouse but once the cat is let out of the bags, cracks begins to appear on the wall, it soon widens and eventually leads to break up.
Poor knowledge of Marriage Demands:
Most celebrities do not understand marriage as a vocation. They often ignore or are blinded to the demands of marriage and tend to concentrate on how much they have to afford all the affordable. Other demands of marriage like spending quality time together, playing together and even having listening ear for the spouse may be missing. The demands of their job could mean staying apart for as long and the job demands and like they say when the desirable becomes unavailable, the available becomes desirable, which explains while scandals involving artists and celebrities keep propping up, even if it comes with perennial denials.
JJC Skillz, parted ways in 2022.
Can Nigerian Celebrity Marriage Last The Distance? Yes It Can!
Many observers have been tempted to ask whether it is practically impossible for celebrity marriages in Nigeria to survive. The answer is, it is possible!
If it were not possible, why would veteran duo, Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva, be sailing smoothly without qualms since 1989?
Perhaps maturity and ability to ignore trivialities raised by social media and main stream media is the way to go. For instance Olu Jacobs never insisted that Joke Silva change her name just to suit societal demands. Asked why Joke Silva still bears her maiden name he said:
“She is her own individual. When I met her, she was an actress known as Joke Silva so why should marrying me now deny her and her audience her name. She is Miss Joke Silva who is Mrs. Joke Jacobs. It is as simple as that. People now begin to say what they like. They have even written that we are separated and all sort of stuff. When she is working, she is Joke Silva but she is Mrs. Joke Jacobs at home.”
An inexperienced celebrity would have given a different and perhaps more controversial response to this simple question thus fuelling unnecessary social media buzz.
There are others like Charles Oputa (Charly Boy) and wife Diane married for over 30 years, Isaac Moses and wife Nneka of the Goge Africa fame married for 28 years, Nollywood actor, Bob Manuel- Udokwu and wife Cassandra married for 25 years and still counting.
Truth Of The Matter:
Safe to say that marriage as a vocation is not for everyone. Those who must make it as celebrity must understand the demands and must be ready to accommodate its demand.
They must be able to separate celebrity status from their personality as married people. They must be able to draw a line between information and challenges that are meant for the social media and the public and that which must be addressed at home just like their fans are busy dealing with theirs while ironically, expecting to get the entire juicy gist from their own.
Finally, they must attempt to bring God into the picture in line with Philippians 4:13 “I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Julius Okorie is Chief Sports and Entertainment Correspondent for Prime Business Africa. He began his journalism career with the Champion Newspaper and Sporting Champion and later moved on to Daily Independent and the Nation Newspapers. Okorie joined Prime Business Africa in 2024 bringing on board 20 years of experience in writing investigative news on Sports and Entertainment. His well researched and highly informative articles on Sports Business and general entertainment are followed by a wide range of audience.
