Dr. Ifeanyi OnyikeIf I knew that meat for the Christmas rice would be this expensive, I would’ve made alternative plans early enough. Getting a catapult for hunting lizards and a grasshopper trap wouldn’t be out of place.
Just three years ago, on the 24th of December 2021, chicken was sold for ₦4,500. I recalled moving from one seller to another to see if I could get it at a cheaper rate. To me, ₦3,500 was okay considering that the same size of chicken was ₦3,000 before the peak of the Christmas season.
Join our WhatsApp ChannelSo, an increase of ₦500 was a fair bargain due to the Christmas rush. Tired of pricing, I bought two for ₦9,000. At home, my wife lamented how expensive things had become.
Fast forward to 2024, the second Christmas we are celebrating under the man with Merlin magic wands. The same man built modern Lagos and is currently scaffolding modern Nigeria. I’ve gone to the market again. This time, I didn’t wait till the 24th to avoid the usual Christmas rush. Believe me, no tutorial on positioning and strategic financial planning can be more impactful than not having cash in the face of urgent needs. So, I needn’t any tutorial on how to cut costs. Even the federal government has also learnt the same without waiting for the usual tutorial from IMF and World Bank. The 2025 budget looks good. It’s like the APC government has finally woken up to the realities of the now. However, like many discerning minds, I’m indifferent about the slash. Isn’t having a budget in Nigeria, deficit or surplus, equivalent to not having any at all? When was the last time a Nigerian budget was implemented?
Wetin concern me sef! If not for Christmas chicken, I no dey put mouth for government matter again. Again, if not that I’ve gotten tired of talking, I would have advised those jubilating over the possibility of tightening the noose to wait for the supplementary budget which is wont to come in four months or thereabout. I know because I have lived long enough to predict events in Nigeria, especially those that lack ingenuity. That budget will not only supplement the deficit, but, make room for surplus. You don’t understand political gimmicks, do you?
My people, I got to the chicken sellers as usual and was told that a broiler is ₦28,000 and turkey ₦75,000. Meaning that to buy two broilers would cost me ₦56,000. I’ve done a little calculation. For someone that is mathematically deficient, I wonder the proficiency with which I handle financial mathematics these days. That ₦56,000 would get me a bag of rice, cow head and 10 litres of vegetable oil three years ago. In fact, a cow cost 130-150,000 naira, meaning that what it cost to kill a cow for the Christmas and Salah three years ago, is less than what it costs to buy five broiler hens currently.
No trouble! One day I may afford their chicken. But on a serious note, I doubt how many non-political office holders can afford chicken this Christmas. Why the policeman that stopped me at the checkpoint insisted on getting something off me despite seeing that my particulars were intact has become obvious. He kept insisting, you can’t go like that, I need Christmas rice and it’s on this road I will get it”. My offense was not having tinted permit. The same permit that was abolished? Funny, I actually had the permit, but, had to detach it from the documents I present to law enforcement agents, since its abolishment. I offered him ₦500, but, he insisted that it must be ₦1,000. I laughed hilariously at the joke and he joined me. For me, we were joking and I liked the friendly atmosphere. Well, it dawned on me that what seemed like a joke was serious when he wouldn’t let me go. I handed him a N1,000 note and drove off.
“The police is your friend” quite alright, but, not at checkpoints, especially the not-so-legal ones. We must remember what the Holy Bible (Matthew 5: 25-26) said about settling with your adversaries before things get out of hand. What if I had insisted on not paying and pay the supreme price eventually? What if those guys were not even policemen? I’ve rummaged over this matter, but what bothers me the most is the officer’s statement. My conclusion is that if collection of isusu (daily contribution) from motorists is the only way security men can afford decent meal for their families, then it should be expunged as a corrupt practice. Moreover, we are over concentrating attention on those that enrich themselves through the might of their gun, forgetting that those that build estates with our money and those that stash our money in foreign banks do not wield guns. To make matters worse, some of these men may well be collecting their gratuities and pensions ahead of their retirement. The number of times retired police and military men protested for their pensions is enough warning for those currently serving. End of discussion!
Meanwhile, corruption is so endemic that one is no longer sure of the actions that are classified as corruption. Perhaps, even bemoaning my inability to buy meat might be a corrupt practice. One can be accused of attempting to eat meat at a time Nigerians are stampeded to death in a bid to get rice for the Christmas. Why? Because meat is luxury in a place where people are dying of hunger. First, it was the death of 35 persons in Ibadan, where Queen Naomi Silekunola, former wife of Ooni of Ife organized a funfair and giveaway for children. Then 10 persons died in the stampede at the Catholic Church in Abuja and later another 20 in Okija, at Obi Jackson’s in Anambra. In all, about 70 Nigerians have died in the past few days in search of Christmas rice or money.
It’s horrifying that people would die for something as basic as food. That means that Abraham Maslow did not consider a rich country like Nigeria when articulating his hierarchy of needs. Here, having expensive cars, sprawling mansions, presidential yacht and private jets for government officials are prioritized as basic needs, while food, portable water, good roads and living wages are luxuries the government can’t afford for the citizens.
The man we would have blamed has actually spoken. His Excellency, Bola Ahmed Tinubu has blamed the organizers of the rice distribution largesse for not providing adequate security at the locations. According to Mr President, “you do not share when you don’t have enough or you don’t make it public”. But, nobody has accepted responsibility for the excruciating hunger in the land. Or, is it just a coincidence that all of a sudden Nigerians have started dying in their bid to get food? Anyway, a lesson for the philanthropists, is that, you can be blamed for your kindness, especially for doing what the government is unwilling to do for the citizens.
Food subsidy or palliative is the primary responsibility of any government. Let’s hope that good spirited Nigerians will not be discouraged from giving to charity to avoid blames. I can’t imagine the consequences because, I’m certain that some people are already turning chaff into food or possibly hunting lizards and grasshoppers for meat. In times of emergencies, like we are experiencing currently, people eat anything to survive. My advice is, at a time one is blamed for giving to charity and another is blamed for dying, you must do all within your powers to survive the current hardship, a situation the president described as taking baby steps.
Unfortunately, the Nigerian situation has defied all economic and Newton’s gravitational theories. Nothing that goes up, has ever come down. The real trouble is that the president may not have factored that babies don’t remain babies forever. By the time the baby steps turn into giant steps, I hope Nigeria, I hope Nigeria can contain it.
Adieu to the dead! Merry Christmas to the living.
Dr Ifeanyi Onyike is a senior lecturer and Head, Department of Mass Communication, Dominican University, Ibadan. onyikeifeanyi@gmail.com
